Ok, I just need to say “don’t you just love this picture?” Like if this walk was how I started my day how flipping easy would it be to set that as my daily foundation for success? Seriously. LOL
Alas, it’s freezing and snowing in Boston and there is no ocean in sight here in Somerville. That being said, the topic of putting first things first is on tap this week so let’s talk about what that even means and how you do that NO MATTER WHAT THE WEATHER BRINGS!
You will see in my video below, I go into detail about this; the 3rd Habit in Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” As I mentioned in my previous newsletter New Year, More Effective You Covey shares in this habit that
“We can’t think efficiency with people. We need to think effectiveness with people and efficiency with things.”
Without going back into that story, I will say, we are living in a world that is constantly looking to streamline everything. You go to the movies these days and the movie theater is half or more than half empty because people wait to streamline movies now. For me this feels sad as the movie theater has always been a place for entertainment.
Everything happens in our homes now a days which cheats us of having varied and more exciting experiences.
But what I would like to focus on here is more the concept of setting a foundation for success.
What does that even mean? You say.
Well this habit brings me back to my time in working in addictions and with 12 step programs. One of the AA slogans is
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Which means start with the basics and build on up. For people in early sobriety that often means taking care of things that may be basic to others but wasn’t when they were in the height of their addiction.
But I find the focus on the extreme ends of addiction to be really annoying. Because it allows the average person to get off scot free. Like as if this subset of people have a problem but the rest of us are doing a ok.
That’s a massive lie.
Addiction is a spectrum and there are many things that people can use to numb their emotions that can eventually spin out of control.
And that includes being completely obsessed with work.
So let’s just say we humans have more in common than we have different. Different strokes, different folks.
Setting up a foundation for success often looks the same for all of us.
We need food our body can process and assimilate into energy. That food should help feed the brain so that it can function properly.
We need structured daily living. In order for the circadian rhythm to function properly we should get to bed and wake up at the same time every day.
We need exercise. And this one should be starred for many reasons. Not just because you want your body to look a certain way but because you need to move stuck energy through the body otherwise it contributes to physical and mental health issues.
And possibly the most important thing that we all need is…..
Healthy relationships. A support network of people who really “get us” and are in our corner.
Robert Waldinger & Marc Shultz conducted a longitudal study on male development through the Harvard Study of Adult Development. The study began in 1938 and spanned 72 years and was focused on the area of well-being. The outcome was that all of the participants stated that there was one single thing that was responsible for their happiness and well-being and that was,…
Strong healthy relationships.
Yup you got it. All the creatine, exercise, collagen powder, kelp, kale etc is no good if you do not have a strong healthy support network of good friends and family.
Putting first things first is to realize that
Relationships are where it’s at. Period.
Work yes, we need it. We need to live in the physical world with it’s ever increasing cost of living. But it is true….
All the money in the world will not buy you happiness if you don’t have good relationships in your life.
Here is my YouTube video on Putting First Things First with some good info from Stephen Covey on what that might look like and how you could begin to think about putting that into practice.
Building Strong Community and Connections
I sometimes feel like I don’t belong in Boston or even the East Coast. For as much as I am a person who loves the access to the city, I am also at the heart a person who just loves community. I thrive in places where people are not miserable! lol
When I spend time up in York, ME whether with my family or on a day trip by myself, I feel a HUGE relief wash over me. The energy in Maine feels so different to me. There was no time that rang this truer than the pandemic. When everyone in the city was running around afraid and yelling at each other because they weren’t following the arrows on the floor at the grocery store, everyone in Maine was just like “Hey how are you? How’s it going? Crazy world, huh?”
OMG YES!
I have a dream that I will have a summer home in York someday that I can share with my family to continue to build all the warmest of memories. Until then, I try as much to do so around here.
Yes, I do sometimes say hi to people on my walks around Fresh Pond and watch as most of them yank the leash on their dog so the dog can’t come and follow my energy and bring me some lovin.
LOL
I laugh and smile at those walking around the Pond with either their Air Pods in or sometimes (more annoyingly) with their phone on speaker listening to a podcast out loud.
Me thinking…
“Seriously? It is gorgeous here and THAT is how you want to spend your time here?”
Shrugs and eye rolls and then tells herself she shouldn’t be so judgmental. Got to work on that one…..:)
One of the ways I have created community over the years is by shopping at certain small businesses that have warm, welcoming people with whom I can create a connection with.
Brattle Street Florist is one of them. Brattle Street Florist has been owned by the same family since 1917!!!
Just let that sink in. That is over 100 years!
They started out selling produce and in 1973 shifted to a florist shop.
Stephen, who bought the florist during the pandemic from his father, is lovely. I have been buying single roses there since my days working at CHA. It has been a little treat of mine, especially during the darkest of days (and some of those were at my last job.) Stephen was always there with a smile and asking me what colors I was looking for.
Above is one of their beauties that I bought late last week.
It doesn’t take much to create a heart centered connections. A smile, a hello, how are you doing, good to see you is really all it takes for me. A random conversation with a stranger often sits with me for long after I met them.
So go ahead bring a smile to your mouth! Reach out and tell someone you were thinking of them and brighten their day. Say hello to a stranger.
And…..
For God Sake take out the straws in your ears for a moment and feel the cool breeze on your skin and hear the wind in your ears.
I know, I am sorry, I just couldn’t let this go without saying that. I could go on and on about the straws in the ears at the cash register but instead I will say….